the round-up #6

a birthday recap (I'm 25 now!!!) + adding colour into my wardrobe

my 25th birthday

for the first time since my 16th birthday, I threw a birthday party! a birthday picnic if we are being specific, which we are. and because it had been so long ago since the last time I invited a group of people to celebrate, well, my life, I was terrified no one would care enough to show up. luckily, I was just being silly, and not only everyone showed up, but I was showered in gifts, flowers and birthday cards, all of which made me feel so incredibly loved, I could hardly believe my eyes.

there were games, music and, of course, delicious food I sourced from my favourite cafés and shops around the city, or made myself (plus an aubergine dip one of my friends made herself. it was a big hit!). despite me being in my head, thinking everyone was bored and wanted to leave, we all actually had a lovely time, which means I don't have many pictures to help tell the tale, and you'll have to make do with this little collage I pulled together on Pinterest!

since turning 25, I've been feeling a little funny. I haven't yet figured out why, but I have been journaling more than I usually do, which definitely has been helpful. 25 just feels different, like a proper adult age, except… when I was younger and pictured myself as an adult, the picture looked nothing like my reality? and, somehow, that doesn't make me as sad anymore as it once did. maybe it's just me growing up, which writing down makes me sound like a small child. I don't know. I guess it all will make sense eventually. until then, I'll take my little life one day at a time.

books

I started Trespasses* and have been finding it hard to read. the sentences feel unnatural, I don't know why. it is very slow. I had to pause because it was making me not want to read at all. so I took a break from it after only reading 16% and moved on to Funny Story by Emily Henry*. it was the book of the month of a book club I participate in and omg it was such an easy-cosy-read! it flew by! I couldn't put it down and had a smile on my face for most of it. just what I needed not to fall out of love with reading. I picked up Trespasses* again, but am still finding it quite slow. I think I might need to keep alternating it with lighter, faster paced reads if I want to finish it, otherwise it will just drag on forever until I give up. I really want to like it, and the story has potential, the writing so far is just not for me…

James Baldwin's Giovanni's Room was a birthday gift I started reading right away. his writing is thoroughly beautiful and I find myself taking it slow, trying as I might to postpone its ending, which I'll inevitably reach, as I can't put it down!

music

didn't really listen to anything new this month. in fact, I found myself getting frustrated with music quite often, like nothing I had on my Spotify was quite able to scratch the itch I had for music.

thankfully, the frustration has mostly faded away as I am writing this, so I'll add some recs that aren't from May, but from today (June 4th):

telly

I have been trying to watch less tv — by tv I mean streaming services such as Netflix, Amazon Prime, Apple TV, etc — as I find I could quite literally do nothing but watch movie after movie or show after show right before bed and through all hours of the night instead of sleeping. my sleep is a priority as, for me, lack of sleep or inadequate sleep nearly always will trigger debilitating migraines. ever since I started heavily limiting my social media usage, however, the time I'd spend on TikTok or Instagram has been replaced by binge watching telly on my phone at night, and I find myself negotiating my precious sleep for “just another episode” or “another 15 minutes” of a movie/show.

not proud of it, but already applying some new tactics this month of June and will report back in the next the round-up. as for May, I have two recs from the big screen and an Amazon Prime original you probably already watched:

I already spoke about this one in a recent party of one, but I truly loved it and think it's worth watching!

I saw Fall Guy in the cinema twice also, it's so fun! the trailers really don't give away what the story is about, so when I went with R, we didn't have high expectations. we didn't have anything better to do and just wanted to get out of the house, but ended up loving it! we went back just weeks later with a couple of friends and they loved it too. it gives romcon by the male’s perspective, lots and lots of action, and a bit of murder mystery!

I want Anne Hathaway to play me in the movie of my life. she's only getting more and more gorgeous over the years and I am obsessed! this movie was sexy and romantic, the type of movie I like to watch in bed, by myself, especially when I'm on my period.

eats

I fell off the meal prep wagon this May, as I overall struggled to keep up with my routines. while I didn't meal prep as I'd liked to, I tried to make my life a bit easier by finding meals that were quick to make, without lacking flavour and balance, and making sure I always had the ingredients to make them.

these were my go-tos all throughout the month:

rice papers rolls (summer rolls) — I make mine with carrots, cucumber, avocado, coriander, lettuce and whatever protein I have in the fridge (usually edamame beans, salmon, shrimp or chicken breast). these are my favourite fillings, but you can go wild and put whatever you want in yours. I always pair it with a homemade dip I like to prepare by mixing gluten-free soy sauce, balsamic vinegar, roasted sesame seed oil, crispy chilli oil, sesame seeds, fresh garlic and finely chopped spring onions. I haven't gotten sick of it yet and just know I'll be eating this all summer long!

greek yogurt chicken salad — I feel like I've been seeing some variation or other of this meal on Pinterest for years now, but it's never something I actually stopped to make till very recently. basically, I chop up cucumbers and cherry tomatoes, slice some pan-seared chicken breast and top it all off with as much full fat greek yogurt as I feel like, a handful of finely chopped fresh dill, plus salt, pepper and some freshly squeezed lime juice. sometimes I'll add quinoa or a handful of crisps, but the base always stays the same, and I've been obsessed since the very first bite. it's so refreshing, easy to make and satisfying, just *chef’s kiss*, really!

and, in other food related news, I tried to keep off sugar on weekdays, but only lasted two weeks until I was back to my old habits. I will be giving it another go this June though, so all practical tips are welcomed! <3

something I wore

a few years back I chose to only wear black, and that was great and made me happy for quite a while, but more recently it has become such a bore. so I've been very slowly adding more colour into my wardrobe, and seeing myself get more excited to dress up in colour. I still love wearing black and will probably love it forever, but I am ready to allow myself to love other colours as well.

I got this cherry red tube top to wear on my birthday and I've worn it so many times already. I absolutely love the colour! and, to my surprise, I also quite like that it is strapless? my boobs grew more than I'd like as I gained quite a bit of weight over the pandemic, so it's not something I thought I'd enjoy wearing, but I'll take it!

I won't be sharing the link to shop this one because even though I sometimes still will shop at fast fashion brands, I don't want to use my platforms to facilitate your access to them.

second hand find

I'd been struggling with my style when it comes to shoes for over a year. what type of shoe do I like wearing? what type of shoe fits my lifestyle? do I like only wearing trainers anymore? can I deal with exposing my feet to dirt in open shoes?

as my birthday approached, I finally made up my mind and decided that no, wearing only trainers isn't bringing me enough joy, and yes, I can deal with a little bit of dirt on my feet if it means I get to wear a pretty sandal. now all that was left was finding the right ones for me.

I ended up getting these Dr.Martens via Vinted, for €90 (retail price was €130, but they weren't available anymore, so I got really lucky!). they are super lightweight and the right balance of both pretty and tough looking. love me a funky shoe! the only thing is I want to paint the yellow thread black, because no, yellow isn't a colour I like wearing and I don't care if anyone thinks it's lame to cover the traditional docs seam. just have to figure out what's the best way to do it.

another excellent find was this cute little backpack I got for €6,50 from Oxfam!

something I did

I painted this mug at the very end of April, but was only able to pick it up in May, which is why I am including it in this month's round-up. I think it turned out so perfect! I love her!

I've been drinking my daily matcha off of it ever since I picked it up, which brings me so much joy! girly things I guess. I want to paint mugs in this style for all my friends birthdays happening in the foreseeable future, it that weird? I also would love to paint myself plates, bowls and cups to match!

miscellaneous notes

1. small win of the month: I got to do the till at Oxfam! it seemed so scary at first, having to handle money sounded overwhelming and I feared customers would hate me because of my broken German, but in reality customers seem to find me friendly and everyone has been so patient as I learn the new skills involved in this bit of the work — it's been rather lovely!

2. I loved reading this piece by Emily as I've had a similar experience of meeting someone who was ready to love all my broken bits and pieces at a time I had little to no idea of how to love myself.

138. The “you can’t love someone else until you love yourself” idea is false.

3. this short piece by Liz on noticing. it reminded me of The Orange, by Wendy Cope, a poem I love.

The practice of noticing

think I'll leave it at that. happy June and thank you for reading!