party of one #5: the cinema

doing whatever sounds fun

I had just gotten out of the shower when I saw a text from my friend saying she wouldn't be able to make it for our date. at first, I obviously felt a little bummed up, I was excited to see her after all. quickly though, I saw it as an opportunity to spend some quality time on my own.

the workout I did on Monday had left me feeling physically exhausted all week long (this was Wednesday, I was being just a tad dramatic) and in between getting done what needed to be done and just wanting to hibernate in order to avoid the muscle soreness that'd taken over my body, I hadn't yet done any kind of planning for my weekly date with myself.

I knew I'd not have much time either, with it already being Wednesday evening, me meeting another friend on Thursday, having a newsletter to draft, edit and publish all by early Friday afternoon, the weekend being dedicated to cleaning and tidying up my room, and being with my boyfriend who I really only get to spend time with on weekends.

now, with time on my hands, I just needed to come up with something to do. when checking in with myself, I felt like going to the cinema would be lovely, but got hung up on the idea that the date needed to be something challenging, *very* exciting, new. I couldn't do just anything, because I'd need to write about it afterwards. if I did something “boring” what I wrote would probably be boring too.

but I really didn't have it in me to do anything else.

that's when I remembered a conversation I'd had recently with the very same friend I was originally meeting up with. I'd told her I'd watched Anyone But You at the cinema on my own and she was like “really? you went to the cinema by yourself? I've never done that!”. hearing these words then made me realise that it's not because something is easy or “normal” for me, that it is for everyone else. in the same way that, probably, some of the things that are hard for me to do are commonplace to you.

to top it all off, the whole idea behind party of one came from me doing The Artist's Way and committing to the exercise of making time to have weekly “artist dates”. the author, Julia Cameron, describes them as assigned play, and recommends we ask ourselves “what sounds fun?” when deciding what do to each week.

going to the cinema sounded fun to me. it was settled. off to the cinema I'd go.

now, the movie would only start at 8pm, and the previous rendezvous with my friend was set for 7pm, so I had one extra hour in my hands, which I quickly decided I'd use to make getting ready part of the date.

I lit up candles and a patchouli incense from my fave incense brand, put music on my computer with the lyrics function of Spotify to kinda karaoke. a whole vibe just for myself. lovely!

then I made my way to the cinema to watch The Holdovers. it had just the right amount of drama and comedy, which I really appreciated!

I got a bag of popcorn, because, duh? I'm at the cinema! not eating popcorn would be a crime. and sneaked in (don't tell them!) a bubble tea. I'm not a soda kinda of gal. sparkling drinks in general are not for me.

I tend to write down quotes from all the movies I watch, this time around it wasn’t different. I really liked it when Paul said “he's not entitled to my story”. you'll need to see the movie yourself to get the context, I won't spoil it to you. and when Mary says “all you have to do is write one word after another. it cannot be that hard”. I felt like she was talking to me. in fact, I love it when you read a book, hear a lyric or watch a movie that seems to be speaking directly to you.

I write because it's my way to process my thoughts and emotions, it helps me answer questions and keep track of my growth. it's who I am. but writing and then sharing it adds a layer of fear that sometimes makes me question if I'm making a fool of myself posting things like this on the internet. won't people judge me? think I'm silly or weird? will they think my writing is shit? and on and on and on.

when I get into this mindset, I try to remind myself that the point of this (substack) is just to write, and that, I can do. one word at a time.

overall date rating

3,5/5 — I love going to the cinema by myself, but because I'm watching a movie, I feel like maybe I'm not thaaaat present with myself. the movie itself ends up being a distraction. however, I still think it's a valid date, and I'll tell you why! when I watch a movie at home, I'm constantly doing other things at the same time, usually involving my phone. in the cinema, although my attention is on the movie first and on my thoughts and feelings second, I'm overall more present in the moment.

getting ready with candles, incense and music was fun, I enjoyed the movie quite a bit and the popcorn was fresh, crunchy. I know I'll be repeating it all sometime soon!

monies spent

€12,54 for the movie ticket because I got it online and had to pay a processing fee (I miss Vue in the UK where online is always cheaper than in venue. *cries*)

€7,20 for the medium size popcorn (ended up taking about a 1/3 of it home with me. the small one is just never enough.)

€5,50 for the bubble tea I sneaked in (remember, shhhh!)

a grand total of €25,24 which makes me want to put it out there that I definitely want to come up with dates that are either cheaper or completely free. not to say that spending money on experiencing life on my own is a bad thing. I just know there are fun things to do that cost nothing and it will help keep party of one accessible for more people.

only I don't have a flat all for myself at the moment, just a bedroom. I like my room to be the place I come to rest at the end of the day, which is why I tend to do things outside. if all goes as planned though, by the end of this year I'll have a whole new flat with R and it will open up possibilities of fun things I can do by myself for free/cheap, without getting out of the house or mixing my winding down space with my fun-having space.

it took me a little longer than usual to get this published and I'm ever so sorry! I'll be back soon with another weekly date debrief for you. in the meantime, let me know what you think of going to the cinema all on your own? I know it can seem like a silly thing to do, but, oh, so worth it!

x Mila